[0.0s] previously on Dumbgeons and Dragons.
[31.0s] You see a dozen red wizards observing your current state.
[38.0s] We have further questions for you.
[42.0s] Nailmitch, do you know that someone has entered Flintstream?
[46.0s] That is very troublesome.
[48.0s] Tharchian Iseldra EF will account for the red wizards and has agreed to aid the factions of the Sword Coast.
[57.0s] Nail returned to Waterdeep and you appear back in the teleportation chamber in Waterdeep.
[64.0s] With Leosin and Lady Laeral Silverhand entering the room.
[71.0s] Welcome to Dumbgeons and Dragons.
[74.0s] We're a D&D 5th edition actual play podcast and I'm your dungeon master Russ More.
[80.0s] I said that very slowly and eloquently today. Normally I speed through it.
[84.0s] I felt like you were at like, yeah, you were slow.
[86.0s] You were at like three, three-quarters speed.
[89.0s] Well, I hear some people like to play podcasts at slow speed, so I'm just helping them out.
[95.0s] Also with me today is Amy More.
[98.0s] I am here today. I'm at full speed, full speed ahead, and I play Thea Amastasia.
[103.0s] And Carla Johnson.
[105.0s] I have only heard of people playing podcasts at faster speeds, never at slower speeds, so I don't know what you're talking about.
[111.0s] I'm going to be at like regular speed though, playing New Laura Moonbrook.
[115.0s] Sometimes I like to play them slow just to hear the people, how they'd sound if they were really drunk.
[120.0s] A little slurry.
[122.0s] Yeah.
[123.0s] And last but not least, Tom Laird.
[126.0s] Yep, that's me. I know you can't hear this, but I shaved my beard off and it was weird.
[132.0s] Actually, you know what? I can kind of hear it.
[134.0s] Oh, you can?
[135.0s] People can probably hear it. Normally there's like a slight rustling.
[139.0s] Okay, yeah. Oh, and I play Flynn Firebeard.
[142.0s] That's all the woodland creatures that have made a home in there. That's what that is.
[145.0s] Tom usually has a big beard, and now this is the first time any of us have seen him with no beard, and it's pretty crazy.
[152.0s] He looks great.
[153.0s] He's pretty much a 13-year-old boy.
[155.0s] He looks like a little tiny baby. His skin is flawless. It's crazy.
[160.0s] I know.
[161.0s] Thank you.
[163.0s] You never know what's under that beard, too.
[164.0s] You really have no idea until you hack it all off.
[167.0s] Some of that hair must have been like months and months old.
[171.0s] Yep.
[172.0s] Because I assume you trim it, so I was going to say years old, but it'd have to be like down to your knee.
[177.0s] The stuff around my chin was pretty long, so it had been a while.
[181.0s] I feel for continuity. This episode comes out on December 12th. You're going to have to shave it again on December 12th.
[187.0s] Yeah, that's not going to happen.
[188.0s] Yeah, fair enough. Just post the picture on December 12th, and then we'll be good.
[193.0s] Was there a reason why you did it?
[195.0s] No, I guess the reason was it had been so long since I'd done it that I could not actually remember the last time that I'd done it.
[204.0s] So you couldn't even remember what your own face looked like without a beard?
[208.0s] I had no idea.
[209.0s] You needed to know underneath it all. So is this the real you, or is Tom with the beard the real you?
[215.0s] Don't farmers burn their crops every now and then to make sure they come back stronger in the future?
[220.0s] You didn't burn it off, did you?
[223.0s] No, I don't think so.
[224.0s] Is that not how you shave nowadays?
[227.0s] Did you burn off all your hair? I'm confused.
[229.0s] It smelled terrible.
[230.0s] Also, I don't think farmers just burn all their crops. I think that's counterproductive.
[234.0s] Well, I didn't say all their crops.
[236.0s] I think some education needs to happen here.
[238.0s] You spot burn.
[239.0s] We're not farmers, despite you guys living in Alberta and Amy working on a ranch.
[245.0s] Welcome to our podcast.
[246.0s] We don't know about farm things.
[250.0s] Actually, I know a lot about chickens.
[252.0s] Okay.
[253.0s] We do know kind of a lot about farming things.
[255.0s] And goats. Had a pretty big vegetable garden.
[259.0s] A lot of my family had farms growing up.
[263.0s] I have milked cows.
[264.0s] My dad would be super sad about my lack of knowledge about farms.
[269.0s] I got knocked off a donkey when I was a kid.
[272.0s] Scarred him for life.
[273.0s] Yeah, I don't ride things now. Just in general. It's a rule.
[279.0s] Yep.
[282.0s] You know where you can see a picture of Tom without a beard is over on Patreon.
[288.0s] Patreon.com slash dumb dragon cast for all your shaving needs.
[293.0s] Who knows what else?
[296.0s] It's going to be a picture of my leg and I'll be like, Amy finally shaved her leg.
[300.0s] And it'll just be a picture of my leg.
[303.0s] Yours will be your chest.
[304.0s] What I'll do is I'll just post that one to public so that if you just go to the site,
[308.0s] check out the other stuff, but you'll see Tom's face without a beard.
[311.0s] Okay.
[312.0s] For free. That's free.
[313.0s] No charge.
[314.0s] First beard free face is free. The rest.
[317.0s] You gotta pay for the rest.
[319.0s] Yep.
[320.0s] You gotta pay for my not hairy leg.
[322.0s] Something else you get on Patreon when you're a patron is an episode dedicated to you.
[326.0s] Like today's episode dedication.
[329.0s] Who is for, which is, who, who, which.
[333.0s] Who is for which has.
[336.0s] Brad from.
[338.0s] Brad.
[339.0s] Fate of Isen podcast.
[342.0s] Is it time to read another review?
[344.0s] Because we got another review that came in the other day and I think we should read it.
[348.0s] Let's do it now.
[349.0s] So we got a lovely review from 1987 Chucky from New ZeAlydind.
[354.0s] Great year.
[355.0s] Right?
[356.0s] Russ and the players are just an absolute joy to listen to.
[359.0s] The funny intros to each episode and the bloopers at the end are a great way to bookend
[364.0s] the fantastic role playing in the middle.
[366.0s] It's definitely in my favorites.
[369.0s] Aww.
[370.0s] That's so nice.
[372.0s] I feel like I'm a little bit like.
[375.0s] Verklept.
[377.0s] Verklept.
[378.0s] You get a little misty.
[379.0s] Yeah.
[380.0s] It's just I can't believe.
[381.0s] Is there something in your eye?
[382.0s] You know.
[383.0s] Like us.
[384.0s] Take the time to write that they like us.
[386.0s] Blows my mind.
[388.0s] I think we need more confidence.
[389.0s] I think we need to go to a confidence workshop.
[391.0s] I don't know.
[392.0s] We're always like, oh, God, we're such a pile of hot, like on fire garbage.
[397.0s] I think we're a delight.
[400.0s] I love spending time with you.
[401.0s] You're some of my favorite people in the whole world.
[403.0s] I just can't believe that that like moves beyond us to strangers.
[409.0s] I think Carla's totally right, because I mean, the amount of times that I've written
[414.0s] an iTunes review of something I can probably count on one hand.
[418.0s] So whenever people do actually do it, it's like mind blowing to me.
[423.0s] Yes.
[424.0s] Well, and it feels so good.
[425.0s] Like, let's call to action right now for our listeners here.
[428.0s] Like, go out and it could be for us.
[431.0s] It could be just for something else you listen to.
[433.0s] It could, you know, whatever.
[435.0s] But go out and leave a review for something you love, because guaranteed
[440.0s] you are going to make that person's day.
[442.0s] Yes.
[443.0s] Or those people's day.
[444.0s] I like that idea.
[445.0s] Unless it's a bad review.
[446.0s] Don't.
[447.0s] Well, yeah, I mean, don't know.
[448.0s] I said, find something you love.
[450.0s] I mean, you can like, you know, ironically leave a bad review.
[454.0s] Oh, God, please.
[455.0s] Nobody be ironic.
[456.0s] Yeah.
[457.0s] Just be earnest, please.
[461.0s] The world needs more earnest.
[463.0s] And I mean, like earnest, scared, stupid.
[467.0s] Find someone you like on Twitter and just tweet them that like, hey, I really like
[471.0s] your stuff.
[472.0s] It doesn't have to be any more than that.
[474.0s] Yeah.
[475.0s] Oh, that's nice.
[476.0s] There's some positivity that makes me happy.
[478.0s] Yeah.
[479.0s] And then, oh, and then tell us you did it and hashtag spread the good feels.
[484.0s] You probably want to check and see if that's an actual.
[486.0s] I probably should.
[487.0s] You can always fix it.
[488.0s] Otherwise, there's going to be a whole lot of hashtags.
[490.0s] Closely associated with the Proud Boys.
[492.0s] That is an unexpected turn.
[496.0s] I mean, I don't know how they made that a hashtag about them.
[499.0s] Go to Twitter.
[500.0s] Twitter.
[501.0s] Yeah, you go to Twitter.
[503.0s] I go to Twitter.
[504.0s] You don't go to Twitter enough on your computer.
[506.0s] Oh, no.
[507.0s] Who goes to Twitter on a computer?
[510.0s] I do.
[511.0s] Oh, Russell.
[512.0s] And then I can.
[513.0s] You search Twitter.
[514.0s] Hashtag.
[515.0s] And then you search hashtag spread the good feels or whatever you said.
[518.0s] Welcome to our IT Twitter related podcast.
[523.0s] Ha!
[524.0s] No results.
[525.0s] All right.
[526.0s] It's ours now.
[527.0s] Spread the good feels.
[528.0s] Go spread the good feels, you guys.
[529.0s] Spread them around.
[530.0s] Yeah.
[531.0s] And then what did we do once we see that they've spread the good feels?
[535.0s] I don't know.
[536.0s] We revel in the fact that just a little piece of our podcast has spread some joy out into
[540.0s] the world that's gone beyond listening to the podcast.
[543.0s] OK, I was going to say I'd send you stickers.
[545.0s] Oh!
[546.0s] No, that's fine.
[547.0s] No, the joy thing was totally fine, too.
[550.0s] Amy's thing stands.
[552.0s] Sorry, everyone.
[553.0s] You don't get stickers.
[555.0s] You could have got stickers, but Amy didn't make that decision.
[558.0s] So spread the good feels.
[562.0s] Not starting now, obviously.
[564.0s] OK, let's play D&D.
[571.0s] You've arrived back in Waterdeep and you're in the same teleportation chamber you left
[576.0s] with Nigh Ilmich.
[579.0s] The illuminated runes are beginning to fade, as is the haze filling your vision.
[585.0s] Is it purple haze?
[586.0s] After only a few moments, Leosin and Lady Laryl Silverhand enter the room, nervous at
[593.0s] first and then relieved to see the five of you there.
[598.0s] Lady Silverhand speaks before you have the chance and she says,
[603.0s] I'm pleased to see your swift return and seeing Nigh Ilmich here with you tells
[609.0s] me what I must know for the moment.
[612.0s] The council is gathering to discuss your final quests and to determine our final
[618.0s] count and plan for attack on the Well of the Dragons.
[623.0s] She turns and begins walking out down the halls towards the council chamber.
[629.0s] Leosin waves his hand for you to follow, and if you do, he closes the door behind
[636.0s] you, sealing the teleportation chamber as you exit.
[641.0s] And if we don't?
[643.0s] I guess we live in the teleportation chamber now.
[646.0s] He just closes the chamber and walks away and that's it.
[650.0s] Slowly suffocate, who knows if Tiamat rises.
[654.0s] We'll take you off the list, it's fine.
[658.0s] There is a bleak feel in the halls of Castle Waterdeep.
[664.0s] It's an overcast day and the sound of heavy rain echoes through the long,
[669.0s] empty halls.
[670.0s] The air feels thick.
[673.0s] You pass by several windows and the city sounds eerily calm.
[678.0s] And from what you can see through brief glimpses, the people piled into
[682.0s] Waterdeep have taken refuge under awnings and squeezed into any building
[686.0s] they can.
[688.0s] You see perched atop the high walls that surround Waterdeep,
[692.0s] The Council of the Metallic Dragons.
[702.0s] You finish your long walk towards the council chambers and Lady Leral has
[706.0s] already entered.
[707.0s] Leosin skips ahead of you and announces to the chamber,
[711.0s] Ladies and gentlemen, Nulara Moonbrook, Flint Firebeard,
[714.0s] Thea Amastasia, and Nye Ilmich have returned from Thay to discuss plans
[719.0s] of our final move on the Cult of the Dragon, at the Well of the Dragons.
[725.0s] I wave around like...wanted to bust in there,
[734.0s] like, you know, first string of a basketball team.
[738.0s] Anthar Frum gives a hearty wave back.
[743.0s] Oh, nice, yeah.
[745.0s] I also waved at the Metallic Dragons.
[748.0s] They are sitting outside the city.
[750.0s] I know, but I did want to interrupt you.
[752.0s] I actually wanted to interrupt you, but I didn't.
[754.0s] As I passed, I waved.
[756.0s] Vigorously, embarrassingly vigorous.
[759.0s] I know them.
[761.0s] I know them.
[762.0s] Guys, it's Thea.
[765.0s] You threatened us that one time at that super awkward meeting.
[769.0s] But I think you're really cool.
[772.0s] You're number one fan.
[775.0s] Leosin ushers you to four open seats.
[779.0s] I skip ahead as Leosin does.
[781.0s] Does Donnie need a seat, or does Donnie just kind of hang out?
[783.0s] I think he just hangs out.
[784.0s] I never know what happens with them.
[785.0s] Does he push your chair in for you?
[788.0s] No, that's nice.
[789.0s] I imagine him to be really sweet.
[791.0s] I like that.
[792.0s] I think he's, because he's bigger now,
[794.0s] it's still pretty new that he is bigger,
[796.0s] so I think he is kind of doing things like that
[799.0s] that he couldn't do when he was just a little guy.
[801.0s] He's a little clumsy, too.
[802.0s] He turns around and his tail knocks over a chair,
[806.0s] and then he's like, oh, god, no.
[807.0s] And he goes to get it, and he knocks his side table over,
[809.0s] and he's like, oh, god.
[811.0s] It's a real comedy.
[812.0s] I'm a little dragon in a big dragon's body.
[816.0s] That's what I imagine.
[817.0s] Anyway, I take a seat.
[818.0s] I think we all do.
[820.0s] As everybody sits down, Leosin speaks up again.
[824.0s] He said, word has come that hundreds of chromatic dragons
[828.0s] have gathered, and as discussed,
[831.0s] today's session will decide who among us
[834.0s] will pledge their resources
[836.0s] in stopping the Cult of the Dragons' plans
[838.0s] to bring Tiamat back to this world.
[843.0s] Lady Silverhand stops him and says,
[846.0s] before we get to that,
[848.0s] our stalwart heroes have returned from their quest
[852.0s] and have much to discuss.
[857.0s] What can you tell us of your travels to Xanthal's tower
[862.0s] and the hopes of bringing back the blue dragon mask?
[868.0s] Oh, Leosin didn't update you guys on that
[871.0s] because we told them.
[873.0s] I mean, I kind of mentioned,
[874.0s] but they didn't really understand
[876.0s] what I was telling them.
[878.0s] It was a big trap.
[881.0s] Um, didn't go well.
[886.0s] We didn't get the mask.
[889.0s] Yeah, bottom line, no mask.
[891.0s] Yeah, it was a fake mask.
[894.0s] So that was great.
[896.0s] Learned a lot, though.
[898.0s] Lots of personal growth happened in that maze.
[902.0s] We personally grew to despise mazes.
[905.0s] Yep.
[906.0s] I lost my owl for a while.
[909.0s] I was pretty scary, but we found her.
[911.0s] Oh, we got these, too.
[912.0s] And I reach into my bag
[913.0s] and I pull out one of the giant diamonds.
[917.0s] These could be helpful.
[919.0s] They're teleportation diamonds.
[922.0s] There's a...
[924.0s] Okay.
[925.0s] Okay.
[926.0s] So in Xanthal's tower, there's these giant...
[930.0s] God damn it.
[933.0s] Come on, you know the word.
[934.0s] There you go.
[935.0s] God.
[936.0s] Every time.
[937.0s] I know.
[938.0s] I love it.
[939.0s] Like a curvy thing.
[942.0s] You know, like a sexy watch, like a sexy fashion watch.
[947.0s] Sexy, upright watch.
[948.0s] You know, a watch with a real nice waist and hip situation.
[953.0s] Got that silhouette.
[956.0s] You know, one of those silhouette watches.
[961.0s] So anyway, in the tower, we teleported all over the place
[966.0s] with this weird little elevator situation thing.
[970.0s] And we found these really big hourglasses.
[974.0s] Good for me.
[976.0s] And when you turn them, they supposedly control time and space
[984.0s] and all sorts of things like that that Xanthal was interested in.
[988.0s] However, it was really, really old and unused, but we busted them open.
[993.0s] And it turns out when you throw one of these or toss it or catch, I suppose,
[999.0s] one of these diamonds, the catcher transports to where the thrower is.
[1007.0s] No, the person who catches it has nothing to do with throwing and catching.
[1013.0s] It's just you throw it up and where you're looking, you go.
[1017.0s] Okay.
[1018.0s] I say that.
[1019.0s] Or where you think you want to go, you go.
[1021.0s] Well, I know.
[1022.0s] But I threw it at one point or someone threw it.
[1025.0s] And then they transport it.
[1028.0s] I'm just saying it's showing a much better use of it, too.
[1032.0s] If someone's in a pickle, you throw them up.
[1035.0s] Sure.
[1036.0s] Well, don't throw them a pickle.
[1037.0s] That's not going to help their situation.
[1039.0s] That'd be weird.
[1041.0s] You look like you're hungry.
[1044.0s] So do you understand how these things work then?
[1047.0s] Yeah, it's magic.
[1048.0s] All right.
[1049.0s] All right.
[1050.0s] I am well versed in magic.
[1052.0s] Good.
[1053.0s] No one wants to sound like an idiot and say they don't understand magic.
[1057.0s] Who are you, sir?
[1059.0s] I've been at every council meeting thus far.
[1062.0s] Well, you've never yet spoken.
[1064.0s] Can you just ask my name now?
[1065.0s] My name is Tern Thunderspell's Hornblade.
[1068.0s] The mighty strong name you have there, sir.
[1070.0s] Yes.
[1071.0s] Yes.
[1072.0s] The Samastasia.
[1073.0s] Yeah.
[1074.0s] So we could possibly use these in a battle.
[1078.0s] It could be a very big surprise, a sneaky advantage that we have.
[1084.0s] So that was a positive that came out of that entire waste of time.
[1091.0s] Another older human male with a long handlebar like white mustache speaks up.
[1099.0s] He's wearing very exquisitely done armor.
[1102.0s] He says, so you made it into Zanthal's tower.
[1108.0s] I must not be saying it right.
[1110.0s] We got through that maze.
[1111.0s] We made it in the tower.
[1113.0s] We got the quote unquote dragon mask, but it was a fake.
[1119.0s] There's hushed whispers throughout the chamber.
[1125.0s] I lean over to Newlar and I go, did I say it wrong the first time?
[1131.0s] Now we both already said we didn't get the mask.
[1134.0s] They got so excited about your teleportation diamonds, they just stopped listening, I guess.
[1139.0s] Shiny objects.
[1140.0s] The same man who you know as Sir Istaval.
[1144.0s] He continues talking and he says, what you have is now under the rights of the land ownership of Zanthal's tower.
[1156.0s] I'm sorry, what?
[1159.0s] Like finders keepers, like we found it.
[1161.0s] Because we beat the maze.
[1163.0s] Do we have squatters rights?
[1164.0s] Because we're not there squatting currently.
[1167.0s] Yes, I see that.
[1169.0s] See that.
[1172.0s] What I'm saying is Zanthal's tower is not something that people just walk up to and take.
[1180.0s] You hold within your minds the key to get into the tower.
[1187.0s] Therefore, you have rights to the tower.
[1191.0s] Well, it would be a pretty good summer home.
[1195.0s] Very private.
[1197.0s] No solicitors.
[1199.0s] You hear among the other members in the chamber numbers being tossed around.
[1206.0s] 42, 78, 169.
[1213.0s] Through context clues, you can figure out monetary values at which they would place to own such a property.
[1224.0s] Oh, it's turned into storage wars.
[1227.0s] Sir Istaval speaks up and he says, be wary who you sell such a thing to, if you were to sell it.
[1238.0s] Well, we probably wouldn't because there's that Theraz the Fair in there.
[1243.0s] So we don't want him falling into the wrong hands.
[1247.0s] Of course.
[1249.0s] Who's Theraz the Fair?
[1252.0s] He's not fair at all.
[1253.0s] Oh, no, he's a well, is he an elemental?
[1257.0s] He was a real dick is what he was.
[1260.0s] Yeah, no matter what he is.
[1263.0s] I also didn't really seem to have any idea how chess works, but.
[1268.0s] Interesting.
[1271.0s] Fair enough.
[1272.0s] The whispers continue among the group and Lady Laryl Silverhand speaks up and says, sorry, so the blue dragon mask, it was a fake.
[1282.0s] Correct.
[1283.0s] And Leosin, does somebody have the mask that was given to you?
[1290.0s] Do I still have it on my person Russ?
[1292.0s] No, we gave it to him.
[1293.0s] Oh, I don't know.
[1295.0s] We were going to give it to the dragon.
[1296.0s] He handed it back to you.
[1297.0s] Yeah, but then he tossed it back to us and was like, what do I want with this piece of wood, you doinks?
[1302.0s] Exactly.
[1305.0s] So if I have it, I'll pull it out of my rucksack and yeah, it's right here.
[1312.0s] Who wants this?
[1315.0s] Lady Laryl Silverhand.
[1317.0s] And she extends her hand and says, I will take it.
[1322.0s] And even though we believe it to be fake, we will test it with our own wizards and see if there is anything that can be salvaged from it.
[1333.0s] I walk over and give it to her.
[1335.0s] Well, I hope you get something out of this.
[1338.0s] I hope so too.
[1340.0s] And of your most recent mission to Thay.
[1345.0s] I assume by the fact that Nigh Ilmitch is back with you, that that means they are here to assist us.
[1356.0s] Yeah, yeah.
[1358.0s] Tharchan Asseldra Yeth has promised an undead army.
[1364.0s] So that's good.
[1367.0s] Nigh Ilmitch speaks up.
[1369.0s] The red wizards as well.
[1372.0s] So they don't seem like people that will really want like hanging around after, after we stop Tiamat.
[1382.0s] Just going to say that now.
[1385.0s] But, you know, currently we have a common enemy, so I think they will be very helpful.
[1392.0s] They seem very powerful.
[1395.0s] That is what I hoped.
[1397.0s] And she is interrupted by both Sir Istvall and Ambassador Bronnenville of Mithril Hall.
[1406.0s] Both stand up and say we should not have these wizards with us.
[1413.0s] We do have a common enemy, yes, but in your own words, you said we should not trust them, no?
[1420.0s] We're a little divided on this because you guys, I kind of agree with you.
[1424.0s] I'm not going to lie.
[1425.0s] They did some sketchy shit to our friend Flint over here.
[1431.0s] Pulled some straight grade A baloney in his dream world.
[1436.0s] And it wasn't cool.
[1438.0s] And how can you trust someone who does that?
[1440.0s] Also, what happens, you guys, when we defeat Tiamat and then we have this big undead army
[1450.0s] in the midst of a ruined Faerun just primed to be taken over by another big bad.
[1460.0s] Ambassador Bronnenville says, exactly.
[1463.0s] God damn it.
[1465.0s] This is what I told you, Silverhand.
[1467.0s] And she says, what we need is to save Faerun.
[1474.0s] They have pledged their wizards.
[1476.0s] They have pledged their army.
[1479.0s] Our armies outweigh theirs.
[1486.0s] When we win, everyone will go their separate ways.
[1494.0s] It is part of the arrangement.
[1497.0s] You three made it back.
[1499.0s] I don't know what happened, but it was the arrangement that you would go and you would come back.
[1508.0s] I'm sorry if something happened to you, Flint Firebeard.
[1515.0s] It seemed like they were just trying to understand our motivations more than anything,
[1522.0s] but they went about it just the completely wrong way.
[1528.0s] Also, I'm not too smart with our plans, so really they picked the wrong person.
[1537.0s] We've got more at a Nulara.
[1539.0s] We've got so much more.
[1542.0s] I hear she's the one who keeps the notes.
[1546.0s] But she rolled the highest.
[1551.0s] Nevertheless, they are an ally that knows some of the motivations and abilities of those that we are fighting.
[1563.0s] Ambassador Bronenville and Sirius Dvaal grumble as they sit back down.
[1572.0s] I never stood up to begin with.
[1574.0s] In fact, she is just super casual.
[1576.0s] She's sitting sideways on her chair, arm on the back.
[1579.0s] Actually, I flipped it around and I'm sitting backwards on the chair.
[1584.0s] Turned your hat around and was like, let's get real for a minute.
[1587.0s] Some real talk.
[1589.0s] Let's get real, you guys.
[1591.0s] Let me tell you about Zaz Tam.
[1593.0s] He might seem like a real cool dude, but in fact, he's the devil.
[1598.0s] Here's your extreme teen Bible.
[1601.0s] This is your brain after Zaz Tam.
[1607.0s] I had an extreme teen Bible, FYI.
[1610.0s] Amazing.
[1611.0s] Because you were a super rad Christian girl.
[1615.0s] You bet I was taught Sunday school.
[1617.0s] I feel like God could see me now.
[1622.0s] Oh, he can, my dear.
[1627.0s] I mean, that's the whole idea is that he can, right?
[1629.0s] Well, I guess so.
[1632.0s] All these runes I've painted all over the place.
[1636.0s] The old ones are supposed to keep me safe from him.
[1638.0s] All these goats I've been sacrificing, I thought for sure I was.
[1641.0s] For what?
[1644.0s] Anywho.
[1645.0s] It's got away from us.
[1646.0s] It always does.
[1649.0s] While the wizards are unpredictable, they are necessary.
[1656.0s] And if that sways any of the factions from assisting us, then we will have to address that when that time comes.
[1668.0s] So they have given us an army of wizards and undead.
[1675.0s] Is what they have said.
[1677.0s] Yes.
[1678.0s] Yes.
[1679.0s] Finally, the metallic dragons, as you have seen, have been distributed among Faerun.
[1687.0s] Their forces are protecting some of the last strongholds throughout the land.
[1694.0s] The leaders are here waiting for further direction as to our final attack and when that will happen.
[1704.0s] We are to decide now who will give their support.
[1710.0s] Everyone is welcome to go discuss amongst themselves.
[1715.0s] And we will reconvene very, we will reconvene.
[1721.0s] Like super right away.
[1722.0s] Like super right away.
[1723.0s] Very soon.
[1724.0s] Very soon.
[1727.0s] Everyone gets up and goes, some leave the room, some just move to talk in a corner.
[1733.0s] And my chair makes like a really loud screeching noise on the floor.
[1737.0s] Like unexpectedly loud when I get up and I look a little embarrassed.
[1741.0s] I realize I can't quite get up very well because the seat, the chair is rather wide.
[1747.0s] And I'm like trying to like, like wide leg squat backing up.
[1753.0s] Doing that shimmy back.
[1755.0s] Nothing elegant about it.
[1757.0s] So I think like we're in it.
[1760.0s] Oh, I didn't think we really need to talk about it.
[1763.0s] We've been doing all of this for this express purpose.
[1767.0s] I assumed we're in it till the end.
[1771.0s] Right?
[1772.0s] Yeah.
[1773.0s] I mean, I'm not doing anything else.
[1775.0s] I mean, it's the inevitable rise of TMAT.
[1778.0s] Exactly.
[1780.0s] No use fighting it.
[1781.0s] We got to get there.
[1782.0s] Thea, I thought you looked really cool when you sat backwards on the chair like that.
[1786.0s] Oh yeah, that was awesome.
[1788.0s] It was a power move.
[1789.0s] You know, I want to just come in and own the place.
[1791.0s] But I think I pulled like my hammy.
[1794.0s] Maybe like a grind muscle.
[1797.0s] I mean, the good thing is I don't think everyone was already in their conversation.
[1801.0s] So I don't really think anybody like saw the dismount too much other than us.
[1805.0s] So that's good.
[1807.0s] That's good.
[1808.0s] It was rough.
[1810.0s] It wasn't the best part.
[1811.0s] What was the best part?
[1812.0s] Tell me again.
[1815.0s] Well, when you flipped the chair around initially, that was the best part.
[1819.0s] Well, did you see that I had it up on only one leg and did like a little 360 spin first?
[1826.0s] Yeah.
[1827.0s] No, it was pretty rad.
[1828.0s] It's a real baller move.
[1829.0s] You guys have any guesses?
[1831.0s] I made that word up, by the way.
[1833.0s] It means required a lot of dexterity.
[1836.0s] Oh, I like that.
[1838.0s] I like it.
[1841.0s] You guys got any guesses?
[1842.0s] Actually, two things I want to talk about.
[1844.0s] Any guesses as to who's going to cop out last minute?
[1847.0s] Among these suckers in this room?
[1849.0s] Council chamber?
[1850.0s] Where we definitely remember all the people that are here?
[1853.0s] Subpoint, we own Zanthal's tower now?
[1857.0s] Yeah, isn't that weird?
[1858.0s] I don't want to sell it though.
[1859.0s] I think we should just eat crash pad all the way.
[1862.0s] We clean that place up?
[1864.0s] I think hopefully we agree.
[1867.0s] Let's just wait to make any decisions about the tower
[1871.0s] until after Tiamat.
[1873.0s] One thing at a time, right?
[1875.0s] Sure.
[1876.0s] Real estate.
[1877.0s] Buying and selling and owning new real estate
[1880.0s] can be very stressful.
[1882.0s] So let's just wait.
[1883.0s] Maybe we could get those monks that specialize
[1886.0s] in renovating properties.
[1888.0s] You know, the Property Brothers?
[1889.0s] Maybe we could get them in there.
[1893.0s] You know, fix it up a little bit for us.
[1899.0s] As you're discussing whether to flip or sell or what have you,
[1906.0s] you are approached by a tiefling
[1910.0s] who you recognize from previous sessions.
[1914.0s] And she comes up to you and she is very dark purple skin,
[1920.0s] very red brown hair, horns, dresses all in black.
[1928.0s] And she comes up to you and says,
[1930.0s] oh, so you're the new owners of Zaunful's Tower.
[1936.0s] Apparently so.
[1937.0s] Yeah, I mean, it's new to us.
[1939.0s] But I don't know if we've met before.
[1942.0s] I know we've seen you here,
[1944.0s] but I don't recall your name if we have met.
[1948.0s] I apologize.
[1949.0s] I'm Nulara.
[1950.0s] Yes. Nice to meet you, Nulara.
[1952.0s] Ryan Nightshade is my name.
[1955.0s] Thea and Flint, obviously.
[1957.0s] Nice to meet you, Ryan.
[1958.0s] Nice to meet you, Ryan.
[1959.0s] Yeah, we haven't talked to most people here.
[1961.0s] We get talked at and then sent off a lot, so.
[1965.0s] It sounds like you should try and make a little more chit chat.
[1969.0s] You know, just try and be a little friendlier.
[1971.0s] Well, everyone's here.
[1972.0s] We look super stressed out.
[1974.0s] Yeah, no, totally.
[1975.0s] It's true.
[1976.0s] There's always a bunch going on.
[1977.0s] They're flip-flopping lunatics is what they are.
[1980.0s] I got some cookies out of that.
[1983.0s] Really?
[1984.0s] Really? Well, maybe we can talk later.
[1985.0s] Let me just be up front with you here.
[1987.0s] I'm part of the Zhentarim.
[1989.0s] Do you know much about the Zhentarim?
[1991.0s] I have a feeling like it has something to do with Zanthal's tower.
[1995.0s] Not yet.
[1996.0s] Oh.
[1998.0s] Not yet.
[1999.0s] No, I don't believe we know about the Zhentarim.
[2002.0s] Is it?
[2003.0s] Zhentarim.
[2005.0s] Would you like to make a history check
[2007.0s] and see if you know anything about the Zhentarim?
[2009.0s] Oh, I would love to.
[2011.0s] 16 plus 7.
[2013.0s] I don't care how good it is.
[2014.0s] I'm still rolling my dice.
[2015.0s] 23.
[2016.0s] I don't care.
[2017.0s] I mean, I'm really happy you got a good roll,
[2019.0s] but I rolled a 2.
[2021.0s] Take it away, Amy.
[2026.0s] So you know that the Zhentarim,
[2030.0s] which is also known as the Black Network,
[2032.0s] is a loose affiliation of merchants,
[2035.0s] mercenaries, and malfactors.
[2038.0s] That's a lot of M's there.
[2039.0s] I like the alliteration.
[2040.0s] That's right.
[2041.0s] Common folk know the Zhentarim
[2043.0s] as the people to talk to
[2045.0s] when you need the best guards
[2047.0s] or mercenaries money can buy.
[2049.0s] And if your cargo is somewhat shady,
[2053.0s] they're the ones to ask the least questions.
[2056.0s] That's what you know of them.
[2058.0s] They're like black market type mobster.
[2063.0s] Kind of like a mafia.
[2066.0s] What if your cargo is just parasols?
[2070.0s] What if your cargo is all cargo pants?
[2073.0s] Oh, shit.
[2074.0s] No questions.
[2075.0s] For the right price, no questions.
[2076.0s] That's a lot of cargo pants.
[2077.0s] You should really ask some questions.
[2079.0s] You know what?
[2080.0s] I would equate the Zhentarim
[2082.0s] to kind of being like the transporter,
[2084.0s] Jason Statham, you know.
[2086.0s] Okay.
[2087.0s] They get paid, they don't look in the trunk.
[2089.0s] You're good to go?
[2090.0s] Never look in the trunk.
[2091.0s] Very handsome.
[2092.0s] Don't look great in a suit.
[2094.0s] Yeah.
[2095.0s] Well, hello there.
[2100.0s] I'm your Dungeon Master, Russ More.
[2102.0s] Thanks for joining us for episode 66
[2104.0s] of Dumbgeons and Dragons.
[2106.0s] Anyone know the Property Brothers?
[2108.0s] As we're working on closing out 2018,
[2110.0s] I don't really have a lot to say right now
[2113.0s] other than that you are amazing.
[2116.0s] Thank you for coming with us on this wild journey.
[2118.0s] We'll be celebrating two years on January 3rd
[2122.0s] of Dumbgeons and Dragons being available
[2124.0s] We've been getting close to 50,000 downloads.
[2127.0s] We've launched merchandise this year.
[2129.0s] We have an amazing community on Patreon.
[2131.0s] And the biggest thing is we get to share it all with you.
[2134.0s] The most wonderful people in the world,
[2137.0s] as far as I'm concerned.
[2138.0s] If there's anywhere that you haven't joined us
[2140.0s] but would like to know more about,
[2141.0s] visit our website, DumbDragons.com,
[2144.0s] where you can find out about us,
[2145.0s] where you can go to find more about the Patreon community,
[2148.0s] and all of our social media channels,
[2150.0s] which I will admit we've been a little quiet on lately.
[2153.0s] Sorry for that.
[2154.0s] We're working towards the holidays,
[2155.0s] which is a crazy time for everyone.
[2157.0s] But we're also working towards ways
[2159.0s] for you to be more involved with us
[2162.0s] and easier ways for you to be able to find us
[2164.0s] and talk to us and share with us
[2165.0s] and the community around the podcast.
[2167.0s] So like I mentioned last week,
[2169.0s] in 2019 we'll be launching the
[2170.0s] Dumbgeons and Dragons Discord server to the public.
[2173.0s] It's currently available to patrons of Dumbgeons and Dragons.
[2176.0s] And there will be some new awesome things
[2178.0s] coming to Patreon and the podcast in general.
[2181.0s] It's going to be awesome.
[2182.0s] We're very excited for it.
[2184.0s] Once more, all the links to everything
[2187.0s] you could want to check out
[2189.0s] are over on our website, DumbDragons.com.
[2192.0s] So go check it out,
[2193.0s] and we hope to see you in the adventure.
[2195.0s] If you got a note for us,
[2196.0s] send us an email,
[2197.0s] DumbDragonPodcast.gmail.com.
[2200.0s] We love hearing from you,
[2202.0s] and we respond to anyone and everyone
[2204.0s] who sends us a note.
[2206.0s] And a big thanks to Syrinscape
[2207.0s] for some of the amazing atmosphere in today's episode.
[2209.0s] Make sure you check them out at Syrinscape.com
[2211.0s] to bring your games to life.
[2213.0s] Links for everything mentioned today
[2214.0s] can be found in the description.
[2216.0s] The next episode will be out Wednesday, December 19th.
[2219.0s] We'll be continuing the story next week.
[2222.0s] And then on December 26th and January 2nd
[2224.0s] to celebrate Winter Solstice,
[2226.0s] we'll be doing a two-episode fun side story
[2229.0s] that we really hope you enjoy.
[2231.0s] We had a ton of fun playing it.
[2232.0s] Let's get back to the council chambers though
[2234.0s] and see what's happening.
[2236.0s] Have a great week.
[2237.0s] We'll talk soon.
[2268.0s] Pretty...
[2269.0s] Good point, Dwarf.
[2270.0s] Very...
[2272.0s] discreet
[2274.0s] is what I've heard.
[2275.0s] Yes, yes.
[2277.0s] And you're interested in the tower?
[2279.0s] Are my friends getting my double entendre hits here?
[2281.0s] Like my...
[2282.0s] Yes, see...
[2285.0s] Double entendre was the wrong word.
[2286.0s] I need to back up a sec.
[2288.0s] I don't like it when I use the wrong word
[2290.0s] when I'm describing stuff.
[2292.0s] It really bothers me.
[2293.0s] They'll be like,
[2294.0s] Jesus, she does know to double entendre beats.
[2296.0s] I do know.
[2297.0s] Okay, what do you want to say?
[2299.0s] You want me just to cut it out?
[2300.0s] Yeah.
[2301.0s] Okay.
[2302.0s] Fuck, shit, fuck, fuck.
[2303.0s] I'll cut out what you said
[2305.0s] but then leave in the fact that you messed up
[2307.0s] what you said.
[2308.0s] No!
[2309.0s] That's weird.
[2310.0s] Too bad.
[2311.0s] We can have a contest to be like,
[2313.0s] if you know what Amy fucked up,
[2315.0s] write in!
[2317.0s] What do you think she fucked up?
[2319.0s] You have me pegged.
[2320.0s] I'm here to talk about Xanthal's tower
[2322.0s] and what I'm here to discuss, I mean, is
[2326.0s] the Black Network, Xantarim,
[2330.0s] is willing to act immediately
[2333.0s] on all things here
[2337.0s] but if we can come to agreeable terms,
[2343.0s] we can solidify that support.
[2346.0s] Oh my god.
[2348.0s] Guys,
[2350.0s] can we make a group announcement
[2352.0s] about Xanthal's tower?
[2353.0s] Because I have a feeling like this is not
[2355.0s] the only offer we are going to get
[2357.0s] in exchange for loyalty.
[2359.0s] Also, I mean, if your business model
[2361.0s] is everyone and anyone,
[2364.0s] then you want more people alive
[2367.0s] in order to take advantage of your services,
[2369.0s] correct? Not less people?
[2370.0s] That's true.
[2371.0s] That's true.
[2372.0s] Basically, you know what?
[2373.0s] I think you're right, Thea.
[2374.0s] How about group announcement?
[2377.0s] Group announcement.
[2378.0s] Can we like clink a glass?
[2381.0s] I climb up on the table.
[2382.0s] You don't want to hear my offer
[2384.0s] before you clink your glasses.
[2386.0s] I mean, I just think at this rate,
[2388.0s] probably not, like we should just nip
[2390.0s] this one in the bud and that'll be that.
[2394.0s] All right.
[2396.0s] We're sticking to our guns.
[2397.0s] I climb up onto the big boardroom table,
[2401.0s] the council table.
[2402.0s] The circular council table.
[2403.0s] Excuse me, excuse me.
[2407.0s] I'll wait.
[2408.0s] Everybody who's in the room,
[2411.0s] some people left the room,
[2413.0s] but everybody who's in the room
[2414.0s] turns to look at you.
[2416.0s] Hey, sorry to interrupt.
[2418.0s] However, I feel like we have to say
[2421.0s] that if anyone is planning on approaching us
[2425.0s] to talk about using Zonthal's Tower
[2428.0s] as a leverage point for loyalty,
[2431.0s] you can just shove it right now
[2433.0s] because we are not looking to sell the tower
[2437.0s] to the highest bidder for the fate of Faerun.
[2442.0s] You are here regardless.
[2445.0s] Do what you want to do.
[2447.0s] The tower is not for sale.
[2450.0s] Have some morals and some ethics, people.
[2453.0s] That is all.
[2456.0s] And I kind of bang my axe on the ground like, yeah.
[2460.0s] Count my hands on the table.
[2462.0s] Okay.
[2467.0s] Everybody looks amongst themselves
[2469.0s] and says, all right.
[2473.0s] Is there any corners of the room
[2475.0s] where there was an audible like, oh, man.
[2478.0s] No, just plain.
[2481.0s] She says, all right, you've made yourself known.
[2484.0s] And she begins to walk away
[2486.0s] and talks to someone else.
[2488.0s] I think we did the right thing,
[2489.0s] but I'm totally curious.
[2490.0s] Me too.
[2491.0s] But morally, I think we made a good decision.
[2494.0s] We are talking about the end of the world.
[2497.0s] What does a piece of property matter?
[2499.0s] Let's deal with the end of the world first.
[2506.0s] I just wanted to tell you the goddamn offer.
[2509.0s] No, it's fine.
[2510.0s] You didn't want to know the offer.
[2512.0s] Well, we might have been swayed
[2513.0s] if we found out what the offer was.
[2515.0s] See, that's why it's best exactly.
[2517.0s] It's best that we are not tempted.
[2520.0s] That's very true to our characters,
[2522.0s] so it's good for us,
[2524.0s] even though Tom, Amy, and Carla really,
[2527.0s] We want that room.
[2529.0s] Can you tell us later what the offer was?
[2532.0s] I hate you so much right now.
[2535.0s] They're no lunch character.
[2537.0s] Anyways.
[2538.0s] Like later, like in like two years real time.
[2541.0s] Yeah, like in Seattle.
[2542.0s] Could you?
[2543.0s] Yeah, sure.
[2544.0s] Or like in two months real time.
[2545.0s] Yeah, like Seattle.
[2546.0s] Okay, we're too much.
[2548.0s] Maybe in like 20 minutes.
[2550.0s] It's fine, guys.
[2551.0s] Everybody make a perception check.
[2554.0s] Okay.
[2555.0s] Oh, no.
[2557.0s] Also, oh, no.
[2559.0s] 11, and I rolled a 2.
[2561.0s] I got a 4.
[2562.0s] I got a 24.
[2566.0s] No, 26.
[2567.0s] Oh, thank God.
[2569.0s] Guys, what if my ability to get good rolls
[2572.0s] was somehow like in tandem with my beard?
[2576.0s] It might have been.
[2577.0s] I mean, so far that's checking out.
[2579.0s] But it'll be back before we really need them.
[2582.0s] This is true.
[2583.0s] This is true.
[2584.0s] Yeah.
[2586.0s] Super perceptor over there.
[2589.0s] You talking to me?
[2590.0s] Yeah, yeah, Flint.
[2592.0s] No, Nulara.
[2593.0s] You're at this point kind of just waiting
[2596.0s] for everybody to return to the room,
[2600.0s] you know, you put your hands in your pockets
[2602.0s] and you find something inside your pocket
[2605.0s] that you didn't think was there before.
[2608.0s] You pull it out and it is a...
[2611.0s] It's a motherfucking business card.
[2614.0s] It's an offer and you can't refuse it.
[2618.0s] No.
[2619.0s] So wait, Nulara has one hand in her pocket.
[2621.0s] What's your other hand doing?
[2622.0s] Is the other one hailing a taxi cab?
[2624.0s] Or like throwing up a peace sign?
[2625.0s] What's happening here?
[2626.0s] We're about to find out.
[2627.0s] He's going to tell me.
[2628.0s] I've got one hand in my pocket
[2630.0s] and one hand is holding a...
[2633.0s] Human finger bone.
[2635.0s] Oh, boy.
[2636.0s] Tied to...
[2638.0s] I was not expecting that.
[2641.0s] That song would be more terrible.
[2644.0s] A human finger bone.
[2646.0s] More terrible is exactly correct.
[2647.0s] Also, can we get that song on the Spotify playlist, please?
[2650.0s] That'd be great, yeah.
[2652.0s] Human finger bone tied to a loop of dried gut.
[2659.0s] And do I know...
[2660.0s] Nulara, what do you have in your fucking pockets?
[2662.0s] Clean your pants.
[2663.0s] Good God.
[2665.0s] I...
[2667.0s] This was not here before,
[2669.0s] but it's okay because I totally know what this means
[2672.0s] as I roll another amazing something check.
[2676.0s] Wait, was I percepting to see if I knew
[2678.0s] there was something in my pocket?
[2679.0s] Because that's amazing.
[2680.0s] Yeah.
[2682.0s] Can I do a history check?
[2689.0s] What would make sense?
[2690.0s] Sure.
[2691.0s] If this is a thing that means something.
[2693.0s] Is this a horse's head in my bed?
[2695.0s] Do I know what this means?
[2697.0s] Is this a black rose on her doorstep?
[2699.0s] I give you either history or arcana.
[2701.0s] Okay, let me see what I'm better at.
[2703.0s] It's a tie.
[2706.0s] Critical fail.
[2711.0s] So I don't think I even know it's a finger bone.
[2715.0s] I don't think I'm useless.
[2717.0s] You look at it and you're like, what is this?
[2720.0s] Can I roll to see if I know what that is?
[2722.0s] Yeah, because of course I'm like,
[2723.0s] you guys already saw it, right?
[2725.0s] This was not in my pocket, you guys.
[2727.0s] I don't know what this is.
[2730.0s] 18.
[2732.0s] Yeah, I mean you look at it
[2733.0s] and you think it could be part of some sort of spell components.
[2739.0s] Oh my god.
[2742.0s] Nularaaa, how long has this been in your pocket?
[2744.0s] I think just now.
[2745.0s] I don't know.
[2746.0s] Can you detect magic on it?
[2747.0s] Like, tell me if it's magic.
[2749.0s] Am I cursed?
[2750.0s] I already have a fucking dagger that's plaguing my waking nightmare of a life.
[2755.0s] Tell me what this finger is about.
[2758.0s] Hey finger bone, you magic?
[2760.0s] Yeah.
[2762.0s] I hold it and I say, hey finger bone, magic?
[2766.0s] Yeah, it is definitely magic.
[2769.0s] Cool.
[2770.0s] How much does detect magic give you?
[2771.0s] I know it's like all of it, but what exactly?
[2773.0s] It tells me the school of magic.
[2775.0s] It tells me 100% of the info that I want to know.
[2780.0s] A faint aura around.
[2782.0s] I learn the school of magic, if any.
[2786.0s] Yeah, that's it.
[2789.0s] So Nularaaa, I'm just going to go out on a limb here.
[2797.0s] I think someone might be trying to cast a spell on you, maybe a curse.
[2803.0s] The school of magic is abjuration.
[2806.0s] It's an abjuration spell.
[2808.0s] Well, I'm looking in my other pocket.
[2812.0s] Is this just me?
[2814.0s] Do you have anything?
[2817.0s] Yeah, you search your pocket and you don't have anything in there,
[2822.0s] but if you go further through your bags,
[2824.0s] you find this same human finger bone with a loop of dried gut in your satchel, your bag.
[2833.0s] Son of a bitch!
[2835.0s] I'm assuming after seeing these two find these things, I also find one?
[2841.0s] You sure do, in your pants pocket.
[2845.0s] Damn it.
[2846.0s] Is Leosin still in the room?
[2849.0s] He is, yeah.
[2851.0s] Hey Leosin, come here.
[2853.0s] He's smart, he always knows what the fuck's going on.
[2855.0s] As you call Leosin, you see you catch the eye of Nigh Ilmich
[2861.0s] and she rushes over to you and closes your hand on the human finger bone
[2867.0s] and she says that is protection from the red wizards.
[2872.0s] Please clarify, protection from the red wizards or the red wizards are protecting us from something else?
[2878.0s] The red wizards are providing you protection.
[2883.0s] It will act, when activated, as a scroll of protection from undead.
[2891.0s] Okay.
[2893.0s] Why weren't we told we were given these?
[2896.0s] And why, if we're on the same side, would we need protection from the undead?
[2901.0s] I'm very uncomfortable now, Nigh Ilmich.
[2904.0s] You don't need protection from the undead being provided in the army.
[2909.0s] You need protection from the red wizards.
[2913.0s] The red wizards?
[2914.0s] From the red bandits.
[2916.0s] They are child killers and they are coming for you.
[2919.0s] They are bloodthirsty child killers.
[2922.0s] You need protection from the exiles who could also be raising undead
[2930.0s] at the Well of the Dragons where they raise undead dragons.
[2934.0s] Right, that seems, yeah, that seems like that would be very problematic.
[2939.0s] Well, thank you, but I still don't understand why the protection had to be a secret.
[2943.0s] If anything, it probably would have developed a better bond between us.
[2947.0s] Tharchian Iseldra, yes, likes to surprise people.
[2952.0s] Put finger bones in people's pockets?
[2955.0s] It's like a little, like, going away present.
[2958.0s] Before she became the vampire she is today, she was a real prankster gangster.
[2964.0s] You've been rounded.
[2966.0s] Okay, Russ, we need a backstory about how she is a prankster gangster.
[2973.0s] Because she did not seem like a pranky kind of gal.
[2976.0s] No.
[2977.0s] When we met her.
[2978.0s] She likes to just, you know, provide her help.
[2981.0s] In the creepiest, surprisingest way possible.
[2985.0s] Yeah.
[2986.0s] Fun.
[2987.0s] So, to activate it, you snap it in half.
[2991.0s] This is like a wishbone, yeah.
[2993.0s] Oh, yeah.
[2994.0s] Exactly.
[2995.0s] Exactly like a wishbone.
[2997.0s] It's unfortunate that we're going to completely forget that we need to do this.
[3003.0s] Guys, somebody write a note.
[3006.0s] Well, I'm going to put it in my items and then put finger bones, snap it.
[3013.0s] Bop it.
[3014.0s] Finger bones.
[3015.0s] Snap it.
[3016.0s] Bop it.
[3017.0s] Twist it.
[3018.0s] Was it twist it?
[3019.0s] Was it pull it?
[3020.0s] Pull it.
[3021.0s] Bop it.
[3022.0s] Skip it.
[3023.0s] Twist it.
[3024.0s] I don't think it was dip it.
[3025.0s] Pass it.
[3026.0s] Dip it.
[3029.0s] Fail and throw it on the ground in angry rage and storm out of the room.
[3033.0s] It snaps on the ground and protects that flower that was right there.
[3036.0s] So, protection from undead is what you get, right Russ?
[3039.0s] Yes, sir.
[3040.0s] It acts as a scroll of protection from undead.
[3043.0s] Okay.
[3044.0s] Got it.
[3045.0s] I wrote finger bones.
[3046.0s] Snap it.
[3047.0s] Next to my Lucky Lou.
[3048.0s] Oh, yeah.
[3049.0s] Leosun comes over and is like, yeah, what's up?
[3052.0s] Just wanted to say hi, see how you're doing.
[3055.0s] You think people are going to be on board here because I hope so.
[3059.0s] Initial cruises around the room.
[3061.0s] Things seem good.
[3062.0s] There were a few groups that left to go discuss.
[3065.0s] Uncertain about their stance.
[3069.0s] So, it's a real toss up, but it's looking good.
[3073.0s] Great.
[3074.0s] Two big thumbs up.
[3075.0s] Great.
[3076.0s] Thanks, Leosun.
[3077.0s] Yeah.
[3078.0s] I think we're going to be like reconvening here sometime soon.
[3081.0s] As you say that, Lady Laro Silverhand speaks up and says, if we could have everybody return to the table.
[3088.0s] Is it like in a theater where they play that little chime noise to send everyone back in?
[3093.0s] She flicked the lights off and on.
[3095.0s] Yep.
[3096.0s] Intermission is over.
[3097.0s] She gets her squires to run around the room and snuff the candles and then relight them and then snuff them and then relight them.
[3104.0s] I mean, people are magic, Russ.
[3106.0s] You're always funnier, but.
[3111.0s] Yeah.
[3112.0s] Everybody comes back to the table and she says, so where do we stand?
[3127.0s] Music in today's episode was by Kavin McLeod of incompetech.filmmusic.io.
[3141.0s] Leosun speaks up again.
[3143.0s] He said, word.
[3146.0s] Word.
[3147.0s] Word.
[3148.0s] Word.
[3149.0s] And then he leaves.
[3150.0s] No.
[3151.0s] After a brief timeout.
[3153.0s] After a brief checking on the five year old.
[3155.0s] Can you hear all my dice rolling?
[3157.0s] I can.
[3158.0s] It sounds like a lot of them.
[3159.0s] I'm just getting it all out of my system.
[3162.0s] OK.
[3163.0s] We have a council meeting.
[3164.0s] There's not going to be a lot of dice rolling.
[3167.0s] I was like, do we get to fight?
[3169.0s] He said, you are going into the biggest battle of your life.
[3173.0s] And I was like, so no, so no.
[3177.0s] So like a political battle.
[3178.0s] Great.
[3179.0s] Yep.
[3180.0s] Great.
[3181.0s] It's a lot of like.
[3182.0s] It's going to be a battle of words.
[3183.0s] It's a lot of episode one Phantom Menace.
[3186.0s] Phantom Menace train talks.
[3188.0s] Memis.
[3189.0s] Like a lot of a lot of.
[3191.0s] Do you remember talking to this person kind of questions from council members for
[3195.0s] us to be like.
[3197.0s] Maybe it could be a rap battle.
[3199.0s] And we're like, do trains exist in this world?
[3202.0s] Dum dums.
[3204.0s] OK, Amy, if it was a rap battle, if I was listening to our podcast, that
[3210.0s] sounds great.
[3211.0s] As the ones creating it, do you think that's a good idea?
[3215.0s] No.
[3216.0s] Do you think that's a good suggestion for us?
[3218.0s] Very rarely.
[3219.0s] Very rarely.
[3220.0s] I know all the words to a few rap songs, and I don't know that any of them
[3226.0s] would be helpful in this situation.
[3229.0s] So like some old school NWA would not fit the bill?
[3232.0s] No.
[3233.0s] I mean, I really got the Fresh Prince theme down.
[3236.0s] I can do baby got back like.
[3239.0s] End to end.
[3240.0s] I got a lot of I got a lot of M&M.
[3242.0s] This is a story all about.
[3244.0s] I mean, I've got Gangsta's Paradise just off the dome I could do for sure.
[3250.0s] But.
[3251.0s] Got skills.
[3252.0s] To create our own seems well outside our skill set.
[3259.0s] Yeah.
[3260.0s] Yeah.
[3261.0s] Probably.
[3262.0s] I mean, give me 20 minutes and I could probably change some lyrics in the
[3266.0s] Fresh Prince rap to be, you know, topical for us.
[3270.0s] But that's about as good as it's going to get.
[3272.0s] When I was in high school, my friend and I ran for class president.
[3278.0s] And that was a team.
[3279.0s] Yeah.
[3280.0s] OK.
[3281.0s] That's very, very common.
[3283.0s] And our speech was to the Fresh Prince theme song.
[3288.0s] And it was pretty rad.
[3292.0s] Unfortunately, we didn't win because the people that won promised that
[3295.0s] they would get a slurpy machine.
[3297.0s] Oh, shit.
[3298.0s] Yeah.
[3299.0s] You had no chance.
[3300.0s] They did not get a slurpy machine.
[3301.0s] Liars.
[3302.0s] Also, follow up question about the rap that you did.
[3306.0s] Was it the extended version?
[3309.0s] I think it was.
[3310.0s] Sometimes.
[3311.0s] But not always.
[3312.0s] I think it was.
[3313.0s] I mean, it was literally like 50 years ago.
[3316.0s] So.
[3317.0s] OK.
[3318.0s] Yeah.
[3319.0s] It was like how I looked the last time I had shaped.
[3323.0s] I actually was the original creator of the Fresh Prince.
[3327.0s] Wow.
[3328.0s] Or my high school presidency speech.
[3331.0s] They copied it for the show.
[3333.0s] Will Smith was like in the audience and he was like, who?
[3335.0s] These guys got some good.
[3337.0s] No, it was his cousin.
[3338.0s] And he phoned him up and he was like, well, you know, it's your cousin.
[3342.0s] Marvin Smith.
[3343.0s] You've been looking for these white girls.
[3348.0s] They got it going on.
[3349.0s] My friend.
[3350.0s] It's like a reverse.
[3351.0s] Bring it on.
[3352.0s] Oh, I'm sorry.
[3354.0s] Sorry.
[3355.0s] Still a reverse.
[3356.0s] Bring it on.
[3357.0s] Still.
[3358.0s] Yeah.
[3359.0s] Yeah.
[3360.0s] You missed a lot of good stuff there, Russ.
[3364.0s] Yeah.
[3365.0s] I'll hear it in post.
[3366.0s] Don't worry.
[3367.0s] I'll just relive it.
[3368.0s] Like I was there and I'll talk like I was there.
[3370.0s] I'm sure you guys left some blanks into our conversation.
[3373.0s] And I hear that in the bloopers.
[3375.0s] I'm going to lose my mind.
[3378.0s] He's writing.
[3382.0s] Insert self into conversation.
[3385.0s] Just like you'd Photoshop yourself into family pictures that you were to part of.
[3389.0s] It'll be totally off topic and out of context and it'll work great.
[3393.0s] I had one of those too.
[3394.0s] And then the wheels fell off and then it was useless.
[3398.0s] That's what I say when I join in a conversation that I know nothing about what they're talking about.
[3402.0s] I like it.
[3403.0s] Excellent.
[3404.0s] It's like they'll be talking and I'll come in and I'll be like, oh my God, write me too.
[3407.0s] I had one of those and the wheels fell off and then it was useless.
[3411.0s] I love it.
[3413.0s] I hope I get to use that at a podcast.
[3415.0s] It sounds like a real power move.
[3417.0s] Guaranteed.
[3418.0s] You could probably just walk up to any group of people and do that.
[3423.0s] Then slap a sticker on their forehead and walk away.
[3426.0s] And get charged with assault.
[3428.0s] My God.
[3430.0s] End up in a foreign prison.
[3432.0s] Yeah, that's fair.
[3434.0s] It's a foreign prison.
[3436.0s] It's not my prison.
[3437.0s] Okay.
[3438.0s] Fuck it.
[3439.0s] We're playing D&D.
[3440.0s] Good thing you already said it.
[3441.0s] Yeah.
[3442.0s] I know.
[3443.0s] Because that one was.
[3444.0s] Getting the conversation mind for them.
[3447.0s] Yeah, it was.
[3448.0s] Dumbgeons and Dragons is a Dumb Dragons production.